Out of the many daily responsibilities I have in my life, I believe the main responsiblity in my life is for my actions. I can only be in full control of my own actions, but at times by controling myself, my choices and so on , I can control the environment, situations and people I choose to involve in my life. I have a sense of responsibility for my parents , who raised me with the utmost love, care and respect, my brother who has shared many memories good and bad with me and my special someone in my life who has stood the test of times, and has been an honest, inspiration of devotion, responsibility and honor in my life.

Well , the last generous act I witnessed actually happened to me from a stranger. It was an ugly day storming hard and lightning, and I had given up running through the rain, afraid I would slip and break my leg again, I walked slowly across my college campus , when I see a petit african american girl running over to me , calling out miss , miss, come share my umbrella, its mighty ugly out here.... I was stunned by the sincere kindness and sensitivity of the young lady. I accepted in awe, and she just smiled. She walked me over to my car which was out of her way and told me to have a nice day and take care I dont catch a cold. I thanked her dearly in blessed her in my heart.  I truly wished there were more breave free spirits as her in this world.

Well the sad thing is there is little or no community interaction . It is truly sad but the many things  I have done from remembering my neighbors names and greeting them when I see them, to respecting their religion and holidays  their ways, I can not seem to make  a reasonable neighbor out of anyone and I have lived and tried here for over 5 years. That is truly sad. That we are all lonely, we all seek company, yet we are all overly cautious and overly preoccupied to even greet a fellow neighbor.

I believe I have taken many things for granted but most importantly the time we have in this short life. Many days I think and remenise my highschool years , and rarely realised it has since been 9 years, yet is seems like yestorday. My everyday life seems lifeless, and at times pointless. I continue to cary a smile on my face and hope and work for the best things in life, but feel lost.  I seek small distractions like the Gym, school , library and family time to take my mind off the emptiness and loneliness I truly feel inside. I not only feel lost, I feel the tasks we have at hand throughout most of our days are pointless. You want things so you preoccupy yourself with work and such to continue to slave away paying for meaningless , pointless items that do not fill in your empty space, do nothing for you spiritually and do not keep you safe and sound . I think most of us take this life for granted , we waste it away and rarely take a good glimpse how fast it passes us by without a true meaning. I mean what do we give back for the life, health and many other things we are given?

Well, there is a great deal that makes my family unique, the first and most is that we have been united throught the most weirdest circumstances, even though all of us are soo uniquely different from one another we have always found a medium or such to support and help one another no matter what the situation and or time.... we have sewen together to buy homes, and helped one another rise to a better state of living through hard work, perseverence and umility.... we knew nothing about being a family , but at the same time, unity , hard work and suffering has always brought us close and kept us bonded.Each person in my family has a specific personality and a specific role in the family and we utilize that as our chain links to help keep us grounded.... Society and the world at large is the same way, but the different political systems does not let the ones under them develop their natureal ablities because then there would be no need for a system or money .... hmmmm?

Well, its a bit confusing, because you have the greedy capitalistic countries supper powers of the world, who will stop at nothing, including killings, betrayls and lies to the people , it's people to stay in control and gain absolute controll and then you have the many religious sects from catholics, to christians to the extremist side of Islam, which indoctorinates its followers to just listen to its teachings making teh followers poor and indoubt of self, which dissapears, the will power and strength, creativity and survival instinct, educations and higher learning dissapears, and yet this form of control seems to be a bit better because the societies tend to be more connected and unity amongst the people but still this is another  form of extreme control over the un inhibbitted mind, the mind that does not think, it just repeats, the mind that is not inquiring it just follows, the sould at heart that dissapears and the self destruction all for some sort of perceived myth of a higher being, God or such... I don't know, this may be true but why do the followers of religions have to be so indoctorinated to the point that their eyes can't see beyond their nose the truth of educations, and education is perceived as evil??? hmmmm that seems odd to me if the perceived reality of a god or gods is really true, why so?
I am not an atheist, but Ibelieve in the right to question... and yes question everything... Some religions may say that to much questioning is dangerous, and becomes evil... how is wanting to find and know the truth evil?  how can I cross a line if I am looking for God or if it is so a perceived myth of him or them??? hmmmmm   I cant say really which country or culture I feel most drawn to... I love all of human kind, all cultures and I believe that only through such can we ever wake up from the sleep our minds have been in for soo many decades...

Over the past few years of my life, actually since I was a child , but more so in my adult years of early twenties, I have tryed very hard to look within myself for all my needs. I have tryied to learn many different things to not only keep connection with human kind, but give everyone a sense of needingness and respect when you ask them to show you their specific field of knowledge... I am going towoards a movement of complete self reliance and truly listening to my body when its tired, give it some rest, when its sick, give its love and care to help it heal itself, give my heart the joy of simplicity every chance I get and plenty of excercises and laughter. I Know that many people may thing I am rich to speak as I do, but realy I am not, I choose not to spend or lavish greatly in the materialistic things, but to formulate my home as healthy , peaceful and strong as possible , and eat only what my two hands can create, and 1/2 the size my eyes want to take ... I believe all this materialism has made people dependent, and unhappy and unaware how strong, intelligent and resourcefull they and humans really are.... we have become the slaves of the 20th century and we don't even realize it....

I believe your emotions have a direct correlations with your body. Have you ever looked at  a person under high stress or depression for a majority of his life, or even a few months ... not only is that person more sick during that time, but his or her body heals slower or becomes completely inhibitted to heal because of the medical interventions and eventually dependence... but they tend to look older, feel much older, gain weight or some people loose too much weight and at that same time, that neggativety and stress related depression then spreads to the people who are most around them (i.e. their coworkers and family or friends) and the unhealthy cycle continues, all because we dont listed to our inner psychici and self... we let emotions rule our life and dont give our heart and body what it knows it needs... we suppress and ignore our smarter selves and then form unhealthy escapes of emotional drainages, as neggative relations, over working, self endulgence, and other bad habbits...

Well , I am not exactly sure what you mean by physical spaces, but for me, spaces like secluded gardens with flowers and isolation, and fresh air , or forests, or nature walks with few people, the beach before sunset, and sometimes very important in my own home, by myself where i can delve into the inner core of my heart, soul, imagination and get to the bottom of my fellings or whatever it may be I am going through... I realy enjoy passionatly my self timeout and would not like it disturbed for nothing in the world... I enjoy having my sweet aromatic coffee in the morning on my patio while reading a newspaper or a brief exerb from a book, I wake up dayly with classical music whispering in my ears and light up a few candles for a pick me up, as I take a shower and pay attention to the water fall sound it makes...hahha I realy went off topic on this one huh??  ha ha ha

Well, lately I have paying attention to how this world is realy being run, and many other things that my naive eyes and heart did not see while i was growing up. I also have been focusing more on how to create my little peace of heaven here on earth and keeping near me and close only people who have the ability and willpower to do the same for themselves. I can't realy delve into what I am really talking about now, but maybe in time, it may resurface....